Top five reasons why you’re still a Yankees Fan

Top five reasons why you’re still a Yankees Fan

  1. If you live anywhere near The Bronx, chances are George Steinbrenner owns the deed to your housing development and you’re afraid he will evict you if he catches you wearing a Mets hat.
  2. You “blew a hammy” after attempting former Yankees strength and conditioning coach Marty Miller’s eight-minute cha-cha kicks for stress relief and haven’t been able to reach the remote control to turn the channel.
  3. You’re waiting for Oscar Goldman to be appointed the Yankees new Director of Performance Enhancement, because he is the most qualified person to “rebuild them.”
  4. You’re still delusional that Roger Clemens will suit up for the Yankees – despite the fact that the current legal sports performance enhancements of Viagra, Ensure and Depends will only get him an extra inning or two.
  5. You’ve been hanging out with former mini-boss Steve Swindal down at The Big Cypress bingo parlor in Florida –  watching the game on TV, sipping screwdrivers and yelling “Bingo” for no apparent reason.

1 Comment

“..legal sports performance enhancements of Viagra, Ensure and Depends will only get him an extra inning or two”

lol, that’s harsh dude

speaking of Depends, Nuke LaFarnsworth (so named by Beth the Yankees Chick) and Mo almost gave Yankee fans a poopie moment or two

when Nuke gave up the homerun and when Mo gave up two singles to start the bottom of the ninth, man it was almost defectcation time – pee yew!

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